I'm someone that falls somewhere in the middle

I'm someone that falls somewhere in the middle of the corporate life and wanting to be a rock star. I love music and like to find new local bands and see live music. I like independent music, movies, and people. But, I do have a good career that is somewhat important to me. It provides me with a great life style and challenges me pretty much every day. I do not want a relationship that becomes my only focus and I don't enjoy gay college sex parties. I have great friends that I love to spend time with and are very important to me. I would like to find someone to have a caring, fun, spontaneous, supportive relationship with though. I miss having that best friend that is so much more.

not over him

i love stal to bits buts she is only good to party with. yeah life here has slowed down alot, im really just smoking cones alot and hanging out with drug fucked people (bit bent right now matter of factly). So my friend is talking to me, and this is what she said.

“i so knew that you werent over fred. i dont know what you are doing wrong, i think you need to stop being so scarred of being hurt. live life, pain is part of the deal and you will always learn from it, stop being so gaurded stacy, its not good for the soul (and im talking shit out of my ass again lol). i think american guys watch too much tv and thats why they get so clingy and romantic and shit. speaking of guys ,yeah i dont like elih its kinda just like yeah we enjoy fucking ocasionally but it has to stop. oh and did i tell you i hooked up with alicia again? well i did and she came over the other night, i think expecting more and i have decided she is a no go zone from here on in, she has a gf and i dont think i want to get involved etc. karma will bite my ass if i do anything else with her, i know it.”
From one of the topic to another. Hmmm….

back again

oi i was thinking (and just thinking) of towing sammo along to hervey bay.. can you imagine that.. oooooh man... the fun we could have with that boy.. and yeah i think we are back together.. i told him how i felt.. i dont think ive told you this story yet.. hope i havent.. if i have ill tell you again: we were at a party on this trampoline and we had been drinking - he was quite gooone.. anyway.. i seriously cannot remember how it happened.. but i asked him out.. and surprisingly he said yes.. and i was like.. hold on.. did i just ask you out.. and hes like yeah.. you did.. hah.. etc.. and so we talked .. worked it out yadda yadda.. and so we've been hanging out again and doing stuff (guilt-free if you know what i mean) its all really good and yeah.. i still feel insecure.. like i might lose him again.. randomly like last time.. but why worry about shit you cant control hey.. i still do though.

wisconsin?

honestly, i think staying in hervey bay is the best option for suse. i think that in wisconsin (was it wisconsin?) suse would have been isolated, boring and she would have had to follow lots of rules, routines etc.. which im pretty sure is not her style.. but then again.. getting anyway from hervey bay might have lowered your risk of developing liver cancer as well as provided some time to sober up completely lol.. doing project stuff sounds so awesome.. and working on a cruise ship would be pretty maddd. man it sounds like your having a real good time over there.. i have to try this kava you speak of.. vodka does nothing for me anymore.. ive fallen for my new best friend tequlia but its rather expensive as you probs know so i cant get it so often.. i kinda need to get my drinking under control.. think im just going to drink beers for a while.. calm down, actually enjoy a drink and laugh at some silly drunk girl falling over - who would usually be me.. jail would have been an adventure.. good story that one.. bet your were too drunk/gone to freak out.. im over fred..